You are not alone...feeling regret | Newborn Photographer Personal Thoughts

Today was an odd one......This post is not about my photography, although I love to photograph weddings and beautiful newborn babies.  Today is a day for me to reflect on what I should have done and to come to terms with not owning what others decide to do.  As many of you know, I volunteer once a week at a local women's clinic counseling ladies in crisis pregnancy situations.  Most gals that I see are 19 or older.....but today I sat with a 15 year old girl.  She was pregnant, but she had hid it well from her Mom   until today.  The girl did not want this baby, she said.  But she had waited 36 whole weeks to decide this.  I gently gave her all the risks associated with an abortion and encouraged her to consider adoption and gave her a ton of printed info on all her choices and sent her across the hall to have an ultrasound.  When the Mom was called into the ultrasound room, she was deeply disturbed to realize that her daughter was only 6 weeks away from giving birth and upset to be told that partial birth abortions are banned by the federal government in every US state, due to the risks to the mother.  And then I wished that I had taken the extra time to sit down in a counseling room before the ultrasound; and counsel the parent of this 15 year old girl,  so that she would have been better educated as to the potential risks and trauma that she wanted to put her child through by finding an illegal, back room abortion for her daughter.  They left our clinic abruptly right after the ultrasound,  and I never got to chat with this gal's angry mother.  And I hurt for the entire situation.  And I had to determine to be a better counselor next time.  And I had to let go of self blame and allow the plain fact that we are all responsible for our own actions to sink in.......I could not own whatever choice that this girl goes with and I cannot own how the mother chooses to treat her daughter.  So, today I had to look regret in the face and say "I will do better next time,  but I will not beat myself up for what I cannot control"  After all, 

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

Join me in saying a prayer for this girl in her hour of desperation,  and count your many blessings as you head into a brand new day!

Photo above courtesy of 2 week old baby Deklin, whose photo/video shoot will be featured soon.